15 more days to promos.

okays. im all set to work doubly hard for the exams. my exams last only for 4 days. 4 days and it will be OVER. must hangg in there. (: got lots to say. but nvm. better keep them to myself bahs. hahas.







i suddenly miss my interact seniors. they are great bunch of pple. truely miss them. gonna miss them more when they graduate. guess the only time i can get to see all of them is after their A lvls. must jia you jia you. =D

anyway. i got a nightmare abt a week ago. i dreamt abt an old man who told me tat i will have a tough life ahead. the frightening part is tat he told me i would die due to depression or suicide. so freaking scary lar. hahas. maybe im too stressed bahs. but i rly hope i wun commit suicide. =/

everybody lets work hard for promos k. wo men xing de. yeah! :)

posted by pam @ 12:34 AM 0 comments

KELLY CLARKSON - Because Of You

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you



yeshh. because of u, i've grown afraid in lots of things. lost faith in many other things too.
but because of u, i've become stronger n stronger.
but because of u, i've grown up.
but because of u, i realised i hav fabulous frens around me.
n because of u, i will starting loving myself more n those who stood by me all this while. (:

posted by pam @ 12:27 AM 0 comments

i feel we are drifting too too far apart le. too far till somehow i feel i duno u anymore. do u feel the same way too? im waiting n waiting for ur mails which never come. u keep saying u wld reply me. but still, u didnt. im kinda disappointed. or upset in fact. im sick of waiting n waiting endlessly. i feel im not impt to u at all le. all i can say im jus very disappointed n hurt. i jus feel u not making the effort? yahh. maybe im wrong. hope u can tell me im wrong too. maybe u wont read all this. i jus hope one day u will chance upon this mail n know im writing this to u. cuz im too afraid to email u again. afraid u will get angry n all. hope we still can salvage back this frenship of ours. i really do. hope u understand how i feel n not get upset if u do read this.

posted by pam @ 12:26 AM 0 comments

i got LOTS to update. haha.

yesterday weilin n i went to daybreak centre to help out with the kids. went there at 9am n found out they were at yishun stadium. so we joined them there. chased them around. honestly i was already exhausted after only after 1 hour. haha! followed them to a playgrd n continue playing with them. i was very tired le. but still hanged in there. we went back to the centre where they had a bathe. throughout the whole period, kid after kid kept pestering us to play some finger game with them. called duno wat "baby" n "mr fool" game. haha. cant imagine how they manage to keep their energy so high.

after a very nice lunch, they started to practising their dance for a compeition this fri. it was a competition against the sexes where they have to choregraph all the dance steps themselves. the girls' dance was v nice. i was impressed. but the guys were like fooling around? hahas. but v funny too. during this period, some kids were still pestering us to play the same games after n after again. omg. we were so drained. =x

after an hour or so it was finally naptime. AT LAST PEACE! i cant tell u how glad i was to have an hour n half of quietness. we were so exhausted tat we fell aslp too. haha. after we woke up, they did some work n had their tea break. i nearly broke into a fit cuz a kid didnt wan to concentrate on his work. jus did 3 questions aft an hour. argh. i simply ren. haha.

it was already abt 5 plus when all the kids went to watch a cartoon movie, leaving weilin n i with the same 2 kids, playing the same finger games. we were SO SIAN playing the same games, goodness duno how many times. haha. i was on the hp, when i found out that jessie, person-in-charge of daybreak, had 2 free tickets to Quidam, the circus.

we were sooo excited. haha. but the show starts at 7.30pm. n at tat time, it was already near to 6pm. so i quickly took a cab home n left home at 6.30pm. so efficient ehs? haha! i reached bugis n waited for weilin. we were late le. so we run like crazy. got lost for awhile b4 finding the place.

the show was SUPERB. no words can describe the spectacular moment under the big blue-yellow tent. all those human aerobics, skippings, comedies, etc etc were so entralling. there was a headless man too. haha! 4 men stood on shoulder on shoulder in secs. the live band n singing was so great. the place is quite small so we were quite close up to the stage. not like in the esplanade. during the interval, weilin n i went to try on some joker hats. haha. so funnie.

i had SO much fun during the whole experience. must really thank jessie. n weilin too! heng nv leave the place earlier.

anyway. i went home frm bugis alone. first time going home so late by myself. haha. den i got lost again! haha. blur me. i supposed to get off at outram park. i got off the train, thinking i hav reached the station. i started finding the northeast line platform. i was finding for like 5 mins. when i suddenly realised i was at tanjong pagar station. i was freaking out cus i had no idea where i was. it was so late already. but still, i got home safely. haha.


those who hav patiently read all i hav written thankss ehs. haha. v long entry. i hav not done much revision yet. so im v worried now. im like out of home everyday except tues. arghs. hols ending soon le. stresseddddd!!! better do my work now.

but still. i hav a great hols.
tata~ (:

posted by pam @ 10:29 PM 0 comments

YAYS! yesterday finally met up with sharon with krystal n mei. didnt managed to meet huiying though. we had lotsasa fun. hahas. shop around at bugis area den headed to marina square. there were nobdy around de. so weird. wells. at bugis, we took neoprints again. haha! we kept laughing at our funny poses tat most of the photos turned out to be v weird. haha! i cant stand looking at myself in those photos. at marina sq we duno wat else to do. so we decided go kbox. the place is so new not like the one at cine. service n everything so lousy. but the kbox at marina sq was superb! sharon n i were exceptionally high. hahas. we got some weird stares by others. but i cldnt care less. stayed till the sme1 came to 'chase' us out.

yupp. didnt had dinner last night. but i had so much fun last night. it has been a lonng time since i had fun with my clique. i rmb whenever im with them, i was so troubled. but now it's different le. haha! cuz im a NEW pam. yay!

gotta do some work now. happie hols everyone~ (:

posted by pam @ 5:10 PM 0 comments

im slowly recovering frm the sunburnt le. now it's getting itchy n painful. a 'wonderful' combination rite? haha. anyway. tml im gonna meet my ger gang le. yay! going to shop too. hopefully i'll be able to buy the nike shoes. cant wait to see all of them tml.

maybe some of u wld know tat my ah gong is not in gd health recently. a few weeks ago, it has been found tat he needs to be put on kidney dialysis. he will not recover anymore but get worse slowly. in other words, he will leave us soon. my ma told me he isnt scared of dying. but my ma is already dead worried for him. wad wld happen if he rly does leave us? he doesnt wan to go for the dialysis as it's very expensive n he doesnt wan to drag on. if he eats properly, he can live for another 6 years. if not, jus 1 more mth.

can u imagine the difference? one month! although i cant rly communicate with him, i jus dun wish to lose him as my ah gong. he's the only grandpa left. i dun hav any other zhang bei to look up to le. i hope i wont regret like the time my grandma passed away. i hope to cherish him more. n maybe one day, i will tell him i love him.

posted by pam @ 6:46 PM 0 comments

ahhhh!!! my body hurts like hell. hahas. i kana sunburnt at sentosa yesterday. didnt realise tat i wld be so affected by the scorching sun. it was really really hot yesterday. anyway. went to school like a red lobster. more than 5 of us in the class were also sunburnt. quite funnie. hahas. but it was really damn painful. i heard it wld last like a week? arghs. duno how to tahan during this period of time. i didnt even dare to look at my own body lar. cuz it's like so scary. haha!

anyways. thanks WO REN for helpin me carry my school bag. was really touched by it. (:

posted by pam @ 9:52 PM 0 comments

im tired. my legs are aching frm all the walking today.

today has been a long long day. almost all ajcians frm xms went back tog. well. glad to see tat most of 4e3 peeps made it back. (: i felt sad back in xms cuz mr choo is leaving the place. for the first time i saw him teared. i cld see him struggling to keep back his tears but he voice suddenly broke. i felt sad for him. a few of us cried too. our emotions jus got the better of us. we helped to pack his pressies n carried them to his car. b4 he left in his car, we all stood in 2 rows at attention. weijie they all started to shout some commands n we saluted to him. although it was hilarious, but tears welled up in my eyes. i will miss him. (:

after tat, me mei n kry went to town to shop! okay. my legs now hurt. hahas! nxt week we must buck up le kaes. haha. met glenn in the mrt while on the way home. had a good chat with him too. (:

although stm i may say i dun wan to see our class peeps due to some reasons, i still love all of them. i really do. i somehow feel belonged to them. a feeling i guess i will never experience again. we will meet up soon. i promise.

im so tired tat i duno if im able to wake up in time tml to meet my jc peeps at harbourfront. i hafta wake up like at 7 plus. *groans* hope the past wont haunt me. haha.

posted by pam @ 12:23 AM 0 comments